Meditation is HARD!

Meditation, the real, actual, clearing your mind of any and all thoughts kind of meditation is HARD!! I've done plenty of these guided 'meditations' on YouTube (guided visualizations might be a more accurate way of describing them), asking you to visualize walking through a meadow to a magical place or visualizing white light entering your body to clear out all the lower vibrating energies. These are very helpful and have worked for me for years. They really help to calm me and relax me and put me in a better mindset, but I've never really tried to do 'real' meditation. Like the Buddhists do, where they sit there and clear their minds of everything and just be.

I attempted to meditate last night. It ended up being more like a push-thoughts-out-of-my-mind over and over again session. There was a millisecond here or a half a second there when I actually accomplished having zero thoughts. As someone whose mind normally runs at least 50 different thought processes simultaneously at super, ultra, high speed, it was difficult to have no movies, no audio tracks, no feelings reels rolling in my mind. I was successful at pushing each thought out for a short period of time, but they just returned and new thoughts generated. I kept at it, though, for a short period of time. I was determined to reach that state of nothingness for as long as I could (even if it was portions of a second at a time), because I wanted to get good at pushing thoughts out of my mind.

This technique goes hand in hand with what I'm currently doing with my endless reel of negative thoughts. My goal is to push out the negative thought and replace it with remembering three things for which I'm grateful. Feeling grateful is the easiest way for me to raise my vibration. I need to train my brain to able to shut out thoughts at will. Thoughts create reality.

 My reality has been pretty good, but there are some parts that have turned out to be pretty shitty. The shitty parts are a direct result of my shitty thoughts. I am a direct result of my thoughts. It's good to focus on keeping the thoughts positive, but it is super important to shut off the thoughts all together, to have no thoughts at all, to shut the brain down, even momentarily. It's like restarting a computer, or turning a fan off for a little while so the motor doesn't overheat. I'm convinced that I will accomplish more thought-free time with practice.

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